Chael Sonnen Seminar
by Ififall
Summary: Nate Diaz/Chael Sonnen Fanfiction. Nate Diaz gets Cut from the UFC Rankings. To help, Chael Sonnen offers his services. But how much does Chael charge?


A/N: Strong Language. Adult scenes. "Mary Jane" is an old slang term for Drugs. Using Quotes from ESPN. I tried to make Chael sound like Chael. Sorry if he sounds odd. Using Lyrics from the Song "Remedy" By the Band _**"Cold"**_

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A/N: The UFC have put Nate Diaz's career at a temporary standstill.

Readers: Are the UFC right, in removing Nate Diaz from the UFC Rankings Altogether?

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_**"The Rage burns, Nate remember to take names,**_

_**If Nate falls, Chael will help him to save face,**_

_**Nate Diaz doesn't want the UFC's Remedy"**_

* * *

_**"Nate Diaz has been removed due to inactivity. Related to his refusal to accept UFC bouts"**_ The UFC told ESPN. **_"There is no Time-Table for if, or when he returns. Thus Nate's been removed from the UFC Rankings"_**

Nate was just as surprised to hear the news as his fans were. He'd turned down just two fights and suddenly he wasn't good enough to be in the UFC Rankings. "Don't worry Nate. I'll sort this" Mike Kogan, his Manager said.

* * *

Nate said "Fine" and ended the call. But he knew that there was nothing that Mr Kogan could do. The UFC held all the cards, and they never let Nate Diaz forget it.

Nate's Brother and his team-mates were getting paid more than him. He was happy for them, but it didn't stop the jealousy.

His Brother Nick came back from training to find his Little Brother watching Television. "You okay?" He asked. "Yeah" Nate said. They didn't talk about the New UFC news. Nick didn't want to make his Little Brother feel bad.

* * *

"Wanna go out later? Gil's set shit up" Nick said. Nate shook his head.

"I'm cool here" Nate said. Knowing how stubborn his Little Brother could be, Nick left Nate too his own devices. Nate scanned his phone looking at his Twitter accounts. MMA journalists were talking about it.

Some thought it was a good idea. Other media guys and fans didn't know why Nate was being removed, when injured champions were still at the top of their UFC Rankings. Nate didn't get it either. Should he get drunk and order take-out? Did he even have the money to do that anymore?

* * *

Nate Diaz thought about making himself a sandwich, when he heard a knock on the door. He opened the door expecting to see his Brother, or his Team-mates. Instead he got a first time visitor.

"What the fuck?" Nate asked.

"What you really mean Nate is "Oh my God, I need your Autograph in my life. Please come in. There's really no need to introduce myself, but I will anyway" The Visitor said.

* * *

"Nate, forget Cesar Gracie. I'm MMA Pioneer, MMA Superstar and future Light-Heavy-Weight Champ Chael Sonnen. So are you gonna let me in? Or are you just gonna stop and stare, One Republic style, at the Greatest Name in MMA history?" Chael asked.

Nate didn't really have a choice. Chael could help him out, and he had his foot in the door...literally. "You want a drink?" Nate asked.

* * *

Chael came in looked around the house and walked into the living room. "I'll have everything Jon Jones drank behind the wheel. No, not really. I'm a better Champion than he is. You got anything Non-alcoholic?" Chael asked.

Nate got out a bottle of Squash and Juice and a couple of glasses. "Considering you didn't know I was going to grace you with my presence, First World Squash will have to do" Chael said. He banged the glass on the table.

* * *

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Nate asked. Sure, Diaz was attracted to Sonnen. But there was no way in hell he could make a move. He didn't know what Chael was into. If Sonnen rejected him, he'd never hear the end of it. Neither would the MMA Media.

"You see Nate, as I woke up from my Harem of beauties which include Belfort's soon to be Ex and GSP's, Scarlett Johansson, I was trying to take one of my usual awesome Hot Celeb babe Selfies, when I saw this "Exclusive Nate Diaz News" on the MMA web" Chael said. On his phone he showed Nate the new article.

* * *

"_Nate Diaz Cut from UFC Rankings_….you're lucky that "Rankings are all you're cut from" Sonnen said.

"Wait a sec, you're on the UFC's fucking side?" Nate said.

"Nathie, don't sulk. You just have to accept that you're not perfect, like me" Chael said. "But I'm here to help and share my wisdom"

* * *

"On what? How to be a loser and still get fucking Title Shots?" Nate asked. Chael smiled. But there was a steely flare of annoyance in his eyes.

"So what? I talked myself into a Title Shot. I could talk Nogueira into a Brazilian jiu-jitsu Tournament, with every Gay guy in San Francisco. I could talk the Diaz Brother's into an Anti, Mary Jane campaign.

"I could talk Miesha Tate into dumping Bryan Caraway after Seven long-ass years. Miesha wants me, but she doesn't know how to break the news to her drip of a Boyfriend….I feel bad for her…..anyway Nate, back to you" Sonnen said.

* * *

"Do you know why the UFC got rid of you? Ranking's wise?" Chael asked.

"Yeah….." Nate started to say.

"You don't? I'll tell you. It's got nothing to do with how you perform, or your last knockout, which was great by the way. It's because you don't play the UFC game. You don't kiss ass. You bitch about pay. How is the UFC supposed to deal with you?" Chael asked.

* * *

"By fucking paying me?" Nate said. Chael took his jacket off and put it on the side of the sofa. Nate tried to pay attention to the phone, instead of Sonnen's muscles that were showing through his shirt.

"Nathie, you need to be more PR friendly. Look. Pretend I'm a sponsor. Put yourself out there to me" Sonnen said.

"I've fucking got sponsors" Nate said.

* * *

"_Pretend_ Nathie. Like when you and Nick _pretended_ to beat the crap out of Mayhem Miller on Live TV. Just pretend" Sonnen said. Nate squinted and turned to face him.

"Hey" Nate said.

"Hello. What's your name?" Sonnen asked, pretending to be a Sponsor.

"You fucking know me" Nate said.

* * *

"I don't Nate. I've been living in Brazil with Wanderlei Silva. He's been too busy trying to seduce me with so called Bedroom Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, so you gonna have to give me UFC details. For all I know, you could be Nick Diaz's and Gina Carano's secret love-child" Sonnen said. Nate swore under his breath.

"Hi,I'm Nate Diaz. I've been on TUF, The Ultimate Fighter. I fight in the top MMA place in the world. The UFC. So, It would be cool if you like...Sponsored me" Nate said. Sonnen clapped, then stopped.

* * *

"That was okay. But why didn't you mention your Brother. Bring in that celebrity connection"

"I ain't like you. I ain't no fame-whore you know" Nate said.

"You need to be" Sonnen said.

* * *

"Why? You've lost fucking back to back" Nate said.

"Yeah, but I'm still in the UFC Rankings" Chael said. Nate got up to leave. As quick as a flash, Chael gently grabbed his arm. "Fuck you" Nate said.

"Nate Diaz, you're gonna sit. You're gonna listen to the greatest MMA fighter, that hasn't held a belt yet" Chael said. "Nathie you've gotta play the UFC game if you want to make money" Sonnen said.

* * *

"Being popular, and Making money is the only way you will survive in the UFC. You have to prove that you are one in a fucking million. Every time Dana white looks at you. You want to see dollar signs in his eyes" Sonnen said.

"Just cause you'll suck Dana's dick, for a dollar, I won't" Nate said. Chael let him go. But Nate stayed still.

"You know what your problem is Diaz. You're in your Twenties. You look fucking Twelve, and you're throwing a Two year old Tantrum, because you're not the Big Dog on campus anymore. Let's face it Nate, you never were" Sonnen said.

* * *

"Nick Diaz is always gonna be the Main Attraction. Nick's always gonna be the headliner. It's always gonna be the Nick Diaz show, Nate. You're just Kermit the frog, with Nick's hand up your ass" Chael said. Nate ran forward and tried hitting out him.

Sonnen turned Nate around and pushed him down on the sofa. Nate kicked out at him. Sonnen side-stepped his legs and his hand accidentally brushed against Nate's waist. Nate paused before getting Sonnen's hand and putting it in-between his thighs.

* * *

"So Nate Diaz, you really wanna go there? You've gotta be intimidated. I'm gonna be the best you've ever had. I don't think your ready for me" Sonnen said leaning over Nate.

"Fuck you" Nate said. They began making out on the sofa. Nate ran his hands over Sonnen's T-shirt. But for some reason MMA's Greatest fighter didn't get the hint. Nate pushed himself upwards while Chael sat down. Nate pulled Sonnen's T-shirt up and licked his stomach. He un-did Sonnen's trousers, while Sonnen stared at the TV.

* * *

Nate got up, he went to his room and got rubbers. Two in case one of them broke. He got back on the floor and stroked Sonnen's dick before putting the protection on. Nate thought about blowing Chael, but changed his mind.

He was still pissed at the comments Sonnen made about him. He ran his fingers over Sonnen, going rougher, when he could feel Chael harden. A few minutes later Sonnen was pulling his trousers up. Nate washed his hands even though They were kind of clean.

"Remember what I Said Nathie" Sonnen said getting his jacket.

* * *

"You going?" Nate asked, but that was obvious. Sonnen nodded.

"I Moon-light at so many other things Nathie. The world needs me. Not just the MMA world, but other worlds out there. I change so many people lives. I should be known as Chael Sonnen: The Ass-Kicking Jesus" Sonnen said.

"Don't look at me like that Nathie. That "Jesus" line will catch on. Good luck with Dana, and getting back into the UFC Rankings" Sonnen said.

* * *

He left and Nate made sure the room didn't look odd or suspicious. Nick came back Half an Hour later.

"You okay?" Nick asked.

"Yeah…umm….Sonnen came round. He just Talked shit" Nate said.

* * *

"Hope you gave him shit" Nick said.

"Yeah…you know….I gave him something" Nate muttered. Nick went upstairs to changed while Nate got the Squash and the Juice off of the table.

He was attracted to Sonnen, but it couldn't go anywhere. Sonnen was a loud-mouthed prick. Nate Diaz didn't have the patience for him…..did he?


End file.
